Best Resume Writing

Truth is stranger than fiction. Take a break and discover more reasons why proofreading your resume is so important. These are actual cover letter, job application, and resume bloopers I have collected over the years:

  • References available upon quest
  • References: Dictionary, Almanac, and the Guinness Book of World Records
  • References available upon my request
  • References to be executed upon request
  • All references subject to request
  • Will provide sootable references
  • References will provide references
  • References will be prorated
  • References to be furnished upon reguest
  • References furnished when accounted for
  • References contact information upon reguess
  • Adamant References included

(consider reading: How to make a Resume)

Application Bloopers

Under “Please list your past experience:”

  • I don’t believe in reincarnation.
  • I like to live in the present.
  • Did not keep track.
  • I have no past.
  • I’m not married.
  • I have no experience but I am willing to find some.
  • I have been clean and sober since college.
  • My experience is all present

Reason for Leaving Last Job:

  • Fired
  • Hated my boos
  • No thank you
  • Maturity leave
  • I’m not leaving
  • Took leave of abstinence
  • Didn’t need one
  • The policy manual forced me to
  • For a bitter job
  • Divorce
  • Boss was having an affair and his wife found out
  • They don’t know I left
  • Too many abstinences
  • I didn’t steal anything

Consider checking Resume examples for your reference.


  • Won $17,334. at the dog track
  • Hypnotized
  • Featured on Girls Gone Wild
  • Guest on the Jerry Springer show
  • Still looking for some
  • Able to avoid sexual harassment suits
  • Spent the summer learning to surf
  • Got my boss fired

Resume Objectives

  • Looking for an employer that will appreciate my ability to optimize my time.
  • Seeking position where I can reach my potential from my position.
  • Seeking a job ass manager.
  • I am resigned from a position that will allow me to exceed.
  • Seeking an opportunity where my employer can take full advantage of me.
  • To secure employment in a secure position where I can utilize my background in security.

Consider checking the most powerful resume writing tips to make standout your resume.

Resume Statements

  • Able to focus on single mutli-tasks
  • Perform tasks through optimizer
  • Great multi-asking ability
  • Perform research spills without supervision
  • Atenttion to Detail
  • Detail oriental
  • Able to compete difficult tasks
  • Competent with Lexus Mexus
  • Processed farms for immigrants
  • Collaborated independently on projects
  • Contracted diseases for several hospitals
  • Approved of my wage increases
  • Found lost items that had been lost
  • Demonstrated quit thinking
  • Performed teamwork Independently

Published by maxresumes